Archiving Residential Children's Homes

Who Am I?

I am a human.
With a past, a present, a future.
A life story.

But who’s is narrated?
‘The subject’ has requested to star….in the memories and moments, in the ‘organisations’ script…so far.

Gatekeepers facilitating the articulation of risk assessments and wrongdoings, incidents and accidents, labels and concerns.

Filtered, boxed, staged. No context assembled, or real memories made.
Deciding character, from scribbles on a page.

My ‘records’ merely collected to ensure that when inspected gold stars are handed out.

Who am I?

I am a human.
With a past, a present, a future.
A life story.

But my story is dictated to me.
I have no faith in the writers…I don’t believe in ghosts.

Although it is I who is invisible. A poverty of love screaming through my file.
I am a story less child.

Who am I?

I am a human.
With a past, a present, a future.
A life story.

I am the star.

A protected identity, a character with context.
My being, valued, by virtue of participation in my life story creation.

Assembled from an array of memories. Of moments.

Of chance encounters, lessons learned, opportunities grasped and passed, heartbreaks and headaches, mistakes I constantly regret and people and places I’ll never forget.
Winning and losing, ‘borrowing’ that hoody that’ll never return, euphoria and doubt, love, loss, love again, first steps and last chances, huffs and hugs, successes and failures, overthinking, thinking I’ve got it all figured out, failing again, taking security in my teddy, kissing that photo, caring more than I show, hurting more than they know.
Friendships and fallouts, pushing boundaries, nervous moments, delightful amounts of devilment, self-doubt.
Deleting memories I wish I kept, finding meaning, losing time, resilience, shared encounters and suffering.
Fun days away, dark days and surviving…always.

Of all the memories and moments that make me….me.

Who am I?

I am a human.
With a past, a present, a future.
A life story…waiting to be told.